Slogger Blogger

I am impressed by consistent bloggers who write weekly or every few. At least they write, and months don't go by with n-o-t-h-i-n-g and a wonder if they died. I have been tempted to just shut this little blog down, being the slogger blogger that I am:) But then I was asked a question about what have I been tempted to give up on and quit. It's not like I have an audience waiting to hear meaningful words from me. But honestly it is fun to click away as the Spirit gives me voice. So this is an easy share....

Some of my favorite meaningful blogs:

http://www.ifequip.com

http://shereadstruth.com

http://annvoskamp.com

Two of my favorite Podcasts:

http://www.dailyaudiobible.com

http://rickwarren.org

A few of my favorite books read this year:

Undone by Michelle Cushatt 
Meaningful!!! About living well in pain, suffering and loss. Listen to this audio from the author here: http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=164468

Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton 
It's a really good, slow meditative read.

Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis 
Ha! I never read these as a child and am over 700 pages into the compilation of his children's fiction. Love it!!!

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
Reread this one....love how it draws me close to the Lord in an out-of-the-box manner.

Crossroads by same author

Rooms by Janes L. Rubart
Both of these last two are a bit predictable, but along the lines of The Shack and I enjoyed them.

I so appreciate the gift of encouragement found everywhere we look! Am grateful for simple things like eyes to see and ears to hear and legs to walk and so much love to give and receive!

BECOMING BRAVE

Becoming brave happens, with effort. Developing courage comes slowly. One small step after a setback after another small step.

     When you pick yourself up again. 
     When God blows a breath of His strength into the fatigue. 
     When you wipe away tears of disappointment and put on your shoes. 
     When you dare to hope for a better day today.
     When you choose to love out of empty strength.

"Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is moving ahead in spite of your fear", Rick Warren says. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the LORD in all you do, and he will give you success”

Today. I. choose. to. be. brave.

God's Grace in Struggles

I'm so grateful for God in the midst of struggles and suffering! That His Word speaks volumes of truth giving hope in the middle of it all! Everyone suffers in one way or a dozen. First Peter 1 tells how God knows all about it ahead of time, the suffering and hard stuff we'll undergo, and knows what it will look like in each of our lives. And He has great purpose in it, a purpose that is actually a multiplication of His grace and His peace. Astounding! His unmerited favor to endure & overcome and His peace to not lose our minds or become bitter!

So I can know from the passage that when life is tough, if I will let Him, he will use the difficulties to set me apart in the Spirit and help me learn obedience to Jesus Christ. What a beautiful thing Good Friday and Easter are - the reminders that Jesus Himself learned obedience to the Father through what He suffered. So He truly is our help and knows what suffering is! 

All this to say that I can genuinely be full of hope and joy, because this world is not all there is and I am awaiting the salvation of my soul when Jesus returns, that great and awesome day of the Lord spoken of so long ago! While I wait, God's grace and peace will be sufficient.

FIGHTING FOR GRATITUDE

I am coming through a season of fighting for gratitude. Well, losing at it actually. And wanting to walk in gratefulness again. It's incredibly hard sometimes! I don't know what happened, but I all of a sudden I looked and there I was sitting at the bottom of some dark deep muddy well. I was covered with slimy mud that smelled horrible. I glanced up a few times but decided it was too hard of a climb and too far up, so I settled back in and wallowed. 

What is that about? I've fought this gratitude battle for over 3 years (with the Mighty One actually doing the fighting) and been quite successful, if I say so myself. 

So I think I decided one day to take a good look at all I've lost these last few years. Yep. Good idea, huh? And as I took one step all by myself into this picture, it grew. And stretched out. And enveloped all who were looking. That was mostly just me, and of course my lucky husband who had no choice but to be a bystander. I kept my eyes transfixed on my losses. 

It was so so so ugly. I became so so ugly. My world became so ugly. It was not a pretty place to reside or to even take a glance of. The sweet fragrance of Jesus in my life turned into a dank swampy smell.  I may be in a slightly melodramatic state even now in these descriptions. But golly gee, I don't want to go there again! (Nor does the grace-filled husband who lives with me.)

Thankfully a snuggly nearly-3 year old and a smiling ear-to-ear 1 year old reaching chubby hands towards me snapped a rope around this Oma and yanked her out of the pit! They left today. 

So what am I going to do now? It's a moment of decision.....and I am choosing life. ("Choosing:" active continual present tense verb.) I choose the way of Jesus, to lay down my life and trust my Savior, the One who laid down His life for me so I could have real life. With Him will I dance. 

SETTLING IN

I so enjoy settling in at night under our comfy quilt on our comfy mattress wrapped in our comfy soft sheets with Asher piled next to me or between us, sighing deeply his contentment. I enjoy settling and snuggling into my Christmas gift down coat and ear-covering hat and lined gloves on our way out the door for a 19 degree morning walk. I like to settle into my car with the seat and heat turned on high. I relish a hot cup of ginger green tea fresh off the stove, a cozy chair and a phone call with a special girlfriend. I like to be settled. It gives me comfort. Security. Rest.

Yet how many are never settled? Hungry stomachs. Unsafe shacks. Untrustworthy neighbors. Dangerous relatives. Poverty, war, today-slavery, abuse. It's too much. What can one person do? But to ask the God of the universe who owns everything, to come. To help. To rescue. To reveal Himself and bow down again to His creation.

I love to piggyback on the work others are doing. To join in the relief efforts and life-building channels they create to help those enslaved in diverse ways. To give a glimpse of hope and pathway to freedom.

Yet still, I often seem to pursue this place of being settled. Even knowing I live with such comfort. Sometimes I find it. Sometimes not. It's when I'm focused on Jesus. Listening to Him in His word. Looking up. Looking outside myself. Yes. That's the place. All else is temporal. Fleeting comfort. So like Paul, I am able to say I am content with plenty or lack, comfort or not, ease or disease. God....

BACK IN THE SADDLE OF A DIFFERENT HORSE

I'm back in the saddle again. Jennie Allen spoke the magnetic statement I've adopted, "God, I will do ANYTHING," in her book Anything. My heart so agrees and I want to be and do anything for my Savior, who has changed me and my life forever. 

What I didn't know is that with God, sometimes choosing God's "anything" and getting back in the saddle means getting off a lot of other horses and letting go.....

Letting go of leading women -

Letting go of driving vision for women's ministry - 

Letting go of the pretty hat of leadership I enjoyed wearing - 

Letting go of a passion and a meaningful way to serve - 

Letting go of a secret pride -

I told Joelle last night across the table at Whole Foods, I always thought telling God I'd do anything meant doing more, stepping out, taking risks of adventure. I didn't know He'd ask me to step out by stepping down, so His surprises and gifts of a different sort may come to me. My meeting yesterday with our pastor and turning in my leadership button sealed the deal. 

So in riding this pony of RA (and sometimes a bucking bronco) for the past 3.5 years, I'm following the lead of my husband, the counsel of godly women and Jesus in choosing for 2015 ---- GRATITUDE and FOCUS. 

I asked God 4 years ago this month to make me a genuinely, from the core, grateful woman. I had no idea of his methodology for me. I've made some strides but I desire to be so full of spilling-out gratitude regardless of difficulties and limitations! So I am asking God to help me focus in this new season. To focus on Him as first order always. From Him comes my joy and peace and wisdom. And to focus on rested care of this body.

In sorting through boxes before Christmas, I found a letter my sweet sister Maryanne wrote quite a few years ago. She said she was so thankful to God and grateful for the lupus disease she had. Maryanne has mastered gratitude from the core for decades. I'm not there and long for God to delight in creating a deeply grateful woman in me.

God of miracles, please create gratitude and focus in this servant. I am Yours.

(Thank you Ellen for encouraging me to blog again and reading these words that tumble out! I love you!)

Hummingbirds and Flies

A beautiful green hummingbird spent a frantic night in our living room, flying at ceiling level against our west-facing windows in eager hope of getting outside again. We opened large doors to the right and to the left of him, and still he insisted on going through a window that will never open.

I've noticed that annoying flies will persist in getting out of closed windows, even when an open one is inches to the side of them. What's with that? I'd prefer they get out instead of having to clean off my window ledges later.

I love those little hummingbirds - beautiful, swift and energetic. They seem to typically know where they're going, and swiftly - energetically move about life to be what God created them to be and to do what God created them to do.

I find myself however looking like our visitor last night or the uninvited flies that invite themselves inside. Why do I sometimes fly into closed windows when God's window of freedom is just to the right or left of my path? He knows my way. He is my way.

This morning, we were able to gently push the exhausted, surrendered little bird into a box and take him outside. He eagerly found an ounce of remaining energy to begin seeking life-giving nectar to drink.

And this morning, I come to Jesus, tired and thirsty for the sweet nectar of God's Word. Longing again for freedom from myself. Freedom from the seeming demands of my heart and emotions that occasionally rise up to take control.

I opened to 2 Kings and read of King Hezekiah, who "did what was good and right and faithful before the Lord, his God....in the eyes of the Lord". He sought an audience of One, seeking not what others say or want, but what God desires and wills. So he "removed the high places" and broke them in pieces, those places that demanded worship of themselves in denial of God. King Hezekiah instructed that all "uncleanness" be brought out of the temple. Then the people sacrificed to the Lord, which ushered in an outburst of praise and worship to the Lord. They brought thank offerings to the Lord and set their hearts to seek God, the Lord. "So there was great joy...the king held fast to the Lord. He did not depart from following him...and the Lord was with him." The Bible says that in every work he undertook in the service of the house of God, he was "seeking God, he did with all his heart, and prospered."

I gratefully fly this morning through God's window of constant love to receive His freedom! His Words of truth direct my flight and focus me to be whom He created me to be and to do what He created me for today! All praise, all joy to and from Him!