I'm back in the saddle again. Jennie Allen spoke the magnetic statement I've adopted, "God, I will do ANYTHING," in her book Anything. My heart so agrees and I want to be and do anything for my Savior, who has changed me and my life forever.
What I didn't know is that with God, sometimes choosing God's "anything" and getting back in the saddle means getting off a lot of other horses and letting go.....
Letting go of leading women -
Letting go of driving vision for women's ministry -
Letting go of the pretty hat of leadership I enjoyed wearing -
Letting go of a passion and a meaningful way to serve -
Letting go of a secret pride -
I told Joelle last night across the table at Whole Foods, I always thought telling God I'd do anything meant doing more, stepping out, taking risks of adventure. I didn't know He'd ask me to step out by stepping down, so His surprises and gifts of a different sort may come to me. My meeting yesterday with our pastor and turning in my leadership button sealed the deal.
So in riding this pony of RA (and sometimes a bucking bronco) for the past 3.5 years, I'm following the lead of my husband, the counsel of godly women and Jesus in choosing for 2015 ---- GRATITUDE and FOCUS.
I asked God 4 years ago this month to make me a genuinely, from the core, grateful woman. I had no idea of his methodology for me. I've made some strides but I desire to be so full of spilling-out gratitude regardless of difficulties and limitations! So I am asking God to help me focus in this new season. To focus on Him as first order always. From Him comes my joy and peace and wisdom. And to focus on rested care of this body.
In sorting through boxes before Christmas, I found a letter my sweet sister Maryanne wrote quite a few years ago. She said she was so thankful to God and grateful for the lupus disease she had. Maryanne has mastered gratitude from the core for decades. I'm not there and long for God to delight in creating a deeply grateful woman in me.
God of miracles, please create gratitude and focus in this servant. I am Yours.
(Thank you Ellen for encouraging me to blog again and reading these words that tumble out! I love you!)