WHAT AM I CHASING

I am asking myself what am I chasing.

What am I chasing in this one life God has given me.

I have chased stuff, things, houses, even the organization of it all.

And people, family, those I love.

I've chased activity, busyness, tasks, accomplishments, to be the best.

And I've chased admiration, accolades and applause. Not outrightly, but inwardly.

But I'm not done yet....there's more.  The chasing of peace, happiness, lightheartedness, grace. For my American Idol singer of choice to win. Now that I've opened up this box, I'm finding it's like Mary Poppin's bag with an unending supply of wants and needs to pull out.

I don't think there's anything wrong with any of these. When they're in their right spot. When the chasing of them is something other than my life and for a purpose other than my own gain. Other than my focus. Other than my quest for fulfillment, because they won't. Ever. I've tried. They all have a hole in the bottom of their bag.

And in the chasing of things that never satisfy and leave me thirsty, I hear the voice of Jesus calling me to seek His face. That He has the water that will quench my thirst and the food that will really satisfy. That He has the words of life and the way for my feet to walk. His purpose. His pursuits. And then I am given His joy, His peace, His unending love. Not because I've done anything but because of who He is.

Jesus says He is the Way. He says He is the Truth. He says He is the Life. And I believe He is who He says He is, and not a liar & lunatic (my two options when I think about all He claimed).

That leaves my heart chasing....God alone. God's face. God's way. God's truth. God's life.
And I am satisfied, quenched, filled, at peace, grateful. Oh so grateful.

Wonderful........

"Wonderful":
inspiring delight, pleasure, or admiration
extremely good
marvelous

God is wonderful. Truly. Giving strength, wisdom, comfort.
Life is wonderfully good. Love, service, purpose.
Greg is amazingly wonderful. Kind, thoughtful, enjoyable.
Getting to be in the lives of our kids is delightfully wonderful. Heart warming.
And then there's becoming an Oma....yes, inspiring delight and pleasure! Recycling my favorite all-time job of being a mama.

Being healthy enough to get to be in women's lives at our church - wonderful again! Fulfilling.
Living in Bend, over-the-top wonderful....the stunning snow-covered mountains, crisp air, unending blue sky, fresh juniper scent.

Wonderful: learning how limited I am. How dependent I am on my God who is unlimited. Unlimited in power, in His love, in perfect wisdom. Hints of returning discomfort and disfunction of sorts in my body reminds me I am finite. That I am here for a purpose and it's not up to me. That I am to live on purpose every day.

I can live in the understandably wonderful, as well as in wonderful limitations. Because God is wonderful and his ways are wonderful and I trust Him.

Swept away again...

Marisa and Kendyl Olivia Milne

(Need I say anything more, except I love being an Oma!)

Time is a Speedy One!

How could it be over 5 weeks since I last talked on my blog? It is just so exciting to me that I am that busy!

So many blessings have come out of having an unpredictable body and illness. I am loving and savoring this season where I get to be in the lives of so many women at our church, leading and organizing and coaching and energizing the women's ministry leaders to love & trust God more and love & serve the women with all their hearts!

And then there are grand babies....I had an entire delightful week with our west coast kids, welcoming Kendyl Olivia into the world 2 weeks ago tonight! And I get to go over tomorrow again for several days to help out some more. Wish our east coast kids were close enough for some of the same more frequently, but I savor FaceTime conversations with them weekly, 'cause that's what I get!

It's interesting to be back in the ball game of life, at least for awhile. I almost have to relearn how to balance all the fun work with rest and recreation. I guess that's a good definition of work that is a fit, when it feels like play!

P ausing to savor everything I get to do, everyone I get to love, every beautiful thing
L ingering with those I love, especially my husband
A lways praying to Jesus with much gratitude
Y earning to maximize this season of descent health with joyful service to others

Out with the Old, In with the New!

I had a perfect time on the plane flying east to see our VA kids to focus on my first-of-the-year personal project! Here's a few examples of the things I discovered:

2013 Successes, Wins and Breakthroughs:
1. Social - I enjoyed growing friendships with women at church through the women's ministry team and our home core group
2. Service - Coached the women's ministry team at our house for a weekend, and spoke at the women's tea
3. Fun - I had many great hikes and dates with Greg (since I felt much better towards the end of the year)

2013 Breakdowns, Losses and Failures:
1. Health - My summer health was terrible, and the rest of the year was between 50-75% (which the latter part I could also call a win, compared to 0%)
2. Even though there were comments from several about coming to Bend for Christmas, no one came to visit
3. We (as a neighborhood) have an ongoing tension and lawsuit with the LLC managers over their demands for more money

So, what did I learn from all of this? A few of the things....
1. If God is in something, and I wait on and trust in Him, I am able to do it! Like endure poor health, speak to 200 women, learn to communicate more honestly and effectively
2. My body needs me to listen to it, sleep-take baths-be outdoors-eat consistently green & well

So what do I intend that to look like in 2014? Here are a few, written in present tense (as if they already happened)....
1. I am getting consistent rest and am honoring this body for Christ
2. I am enjoying leading the women's ministry at church with confidence, am shepherding each woman on the team well, and leading so as to fulfill our vision for the women, all with God's wisdom and help
3. Women are getting unstuck through coaching with me, through my business and through the church

A Gift to Myself....

A new year is upon us, with potential for newness everywhere! It's a time for a gift to myself - maybe to yourself too! I have a coaching idea you are welcome to join me in doing.

Something I like to do at this time of the year is take a look at my life, past and future! It's time to do that again, and I'm excited for the awaiting discoveries! The Bible says I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me! And his yoke is light and he wants me to learn from him! I am eager to learn from the Master and all-wise, all-knowing One.

Here's what I will do:
~ First I will complete 2013 and make sure I'm ready to move on by identifying what kind of blessings, successes, wins and breakthroughs I've had in 2013.
~ Next I will list all my losses, disappointments and breakdowns in 2013.
I am just beginning this process for 2013-14 as I write, so I can't give any personal examples yet.

~ Next I will identify 5-7 lessons I have learned from both, that I want to take into 2014, lessons I will want to consciously use in the coming year. This brings completion to the year, even when some things have no closure or answers to them yet. There's always something to learn and be grateful for. Always.

The next part is the most exciting to me, as a life coach. I will imagine ahead to December 2014 and will write a list of my blessings, successes, wins, and breakthroughs of this coming year. I will write specifically as though they have already happened. (I love how this works in our brains!) I often take a look at each area of my life when I do this, making my list long.

Some areas of my life I may look at are my physical health, emotional health, career satisfaction, financial stability, marriage/romantic relationships, home life (family), extended family, friends/social life, recreation, relaxation, lifestyle (busyness), personal life fulfillment, personal spiritual life, church life, physical comfort, service to others. Ok, so I listed all I can think of, but there's value here!

Another way to evaluate the coming year would be to hold it up to the fruit of the Spirit. So the areas to think about would be your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and your self control.

I have a wonderful New Years day in store, completing the old and bringing in the new! A gift to myself that will reap benefits all year long!

How about you?

Stretching my Wings

I have always enjoyed new things. Not things per say, but learning how to do new things. New things that are in my interest range, that is! I find myself saying "yes" at times before I count the cost! I get myself in trouble sometimes by speaking so quickly, but then again I grow immensely through these opportunities I grasp ahold of!

For instance saying yes to speaking at a women's event at our church last weekend. I honestly brought up the option only because they were having a hard time finding a speaker. I didn't really think they would take me up on it, even though something about it sounded fun in a challenging sort of way.

It's so scary-exciting to spread my wings and soar in the Lord's strength with something new. I learned some things about myself recently, especially the night before I spoke. That I can freak out when I am uncertain. That I have a little girl living within me that gets scared of what others may think of me, and who sometimes tells me I'm going to fail.

And that I find a place of God's perfect peace when I realize and then tell Him I'll mess up and am a mess. And that without Him taking over, my words will be a waste of everyone's time.

That was the best lesson of all. The Bible says that when I am weak, He is strong. And I experienced that fully Sunday. I could hardly believe how relaxed I felt all day, without hardly a butterfly. Of course, I had called in an army to pray for me. But to have literally walked in such peace through the entire day, with such enjoyment while speaking to the room full of women, was huge evidence to me of how much God loves to show Himself. He is faithful and cares deeply about what we care about. I'm glad He continually calls me to do things His way, not mine. To think His way, not mine.

How I love my friends who pray...

How I love my Savior!